I should’ve gone to the ballet

Perfectly planned evening. Day even. But. All buts in my way, boredom seemingly my only motivation. And yet with the perspective of turning a perfectly planned evening into Hell, I stopped. What a clown. These are the days someone once told me, these are the days my friend. A perfectly planned evening at the ballet. Nothing in my way. And yet. yet. yet. yet.
I lack the hability of turning future projections into concrete fears and hopes. And yet.
I should've gone to the ballet.

[…] Farewell happy fields
Where joy for ever dwells: hail horrors, hail
Infernal world, and thou profoundest Hell
Receive thy new possessor: one who brings
A mind not to be changed by place or time.
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
What matter where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less than he
Whom thunder hath made greater? Here at least
We shall be free; th' Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reign secure, and in my choice
To reign is worth ambition though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heav'n
– Paradise Lost, Book I 249-264, John Milton

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